The Grand Grimoire began as a joke between my son and me.
Matthew Alan DeBoard—Keeper of the Current (November 13, 1992–January 4, 2026)—once called me a “freaky Supernatural encyclopedia brain.” He was not wrong. I could remember episodes, rules, connections and tiny details that most sensible people had allowed to leave their minds years earlier.
I joked about turning all of that knowledge into something real. At the time, it was simply one more lively conversation between us. After Matthew died, I dared to believe I could actually bring it to fruition.
The only thing I could do
After Matthew died, I was frozen. I could not make myself get up and clean my house or do the ordinary things that had once been automatic. But I could work on this. For a while, the Grand Grimoire became the only thing I could do.
It did not take away my grief. It helped me survive the first months after his death, and it is still helping me now. It gave my mind somewhere it was able to go when almost everything else felt impossible.
As I research, I play our conversations in my head the way Matthew and I would have had them. I can imagine what he would question, which detail he would challenge and where the conversation would wander next. In that way, working on the Grand Grimoire keeps him present in my day-to-day life.
Matthew would be thrilled that I am putting this together. He would understand exactly why one question becomes twelve connected records, three continuity problems and another reason to rewatch the episode.
The truth of the trauma
Content note: This section discusses sudden death, CPR and traumatic grief. Please take care of yourself while reading.
Matthew died on January 4, 2026, after a fatal medication interaction. I found him unresponsive and performed CPR on my only child while his four children were there. The physical reality of trying to save him, the sounds, the broken ribs and the moment his children understood that their father was gone did not end when that morning ended. I carried it into every hour that followed.
The Grand Grimoire gave me one place where my mind could still move. Research gave me questions I could answer. Connections gave me somewhere to go next. The work did not make the trauma disappear; it gave me something I could reach for while I carried it.
The fuller account of that morning and its aftermath appears in “When Language Fails: Matthew, CPR, and the Supernatural Confessions.”
Please learn CPR
If you do not know CPR, please learn. CPR cannot guarantee an outcome, and the person trying to help does not control what has already happened inside another person’s body. When someone still has a chance, immediate action can matter while emergency help is on the way.
- Learn Hands-Only CPR from the American Heart Association
- Find an American Heart Association CPR course
- Find American Red Cross CPR training
What I hope the Vault gives you
I want the Grand Grimoire to give people a place where their curiosity is welcome. You should be able to look up one small detail, follow it through the larger story and see where the answer came from—even when the honest answer is that canon never settled the question.
I also hope this work carries me into new conversations. I welcome opportunities to join convention panels, podcasts and guest discussions about:
- Supernatural lore and connected-canon research
- Building the Grand Grimoire of Fantasy Television
- How one episode connects to characters, lore, objects, evidence and continuity
- Fandom, grief and keeping someone present through a shared passion
- Turning a “freaky Supernatural encyclopedia brain” into a structured public archive
Convention organizers, podcast hosts and event planners will be able to reach me through the Vault’s Contact page.
If this story brings up more than you can carry alone
Grief is not a mental illness, and no resource can make a devastating loss tidy. Support is available when grief, trauma or emotional pain becomes more than you can safely carry by yourself.
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — call or text 988, or use online chat, for free confidential support available around the clock
- SAMHSA Find Help — treatment locators and support resources
- Dougy Center grief resources — support for children, teens, young adults and families
- National Center for PTSD — information about trauma reactions and PTSD